Sunday, March 25, 2012

i am NOT my hair

 in the words of India.Arie....I am not my hair, I am not this skin, I am not your expectations no.   

June 26, 2010...that's the day that I did the big chop. So it's been almost 2 years since I've been natural now. I had my reasons for doin it. For the most part, I like it. It's more versatile than a relaxer in my book.

Lemme go back for a minute tho....and give you some history. When I was a little kid ( and I don't remember how old I was when this started), my mom would wash and press my hair every two weeks. Man I HATED that! That comb seemed like it was the hottest thing known to man. And the process seemed to take forever. My hair was very long too. I remember when I was about 10 or 11, I started begging my mom to let me get a relaxer. She kept saying no. That is until I found out about "Just for Me". They had what we call a "kiddie perm". I guess it's supposed to be milder than an "adult" perm. They even put young girls on the box. Finally, when I was almost 12 my mom gave in a let me get one. I had to be the happiest little girl on earth. This is when I started going to the beauty shop. Eventually, I started getting my hair cut. A monster was created. I fell in love with having short hair. At times I would let it grow out, but I always went back to the short hairdos.

Fast forward to about 2007. This is when I became in going natural. So I decided to "let my relaxer grow out" aka transitioning. So for about a year, I would get protective styles. Microbraids and sew-in weaves were my choice. Then I had this little afro that I wore out for about a week to let my hair breathe. Then I was gonna get another protective style.

Now this is where it gets tricky. I went to work and people thought I had lost all of my dam mind. Honey, I couldn't get to the beauty salon fast enough! I got a relaxer so quick it almost made my head spin. I guess I wasn't ready yet.

Sometime in 2009 I got curious about goin natural again. This time I was around a few people who were natural. They talked to me about it and gave me their insight on how people react to it.

So in 2010 after I had my oldest daughter, I just woke up one morning and got it all cut off. Now I hated it at first because I had almost no hair! I mean it took time for it to even become a TWA. All I had to do in the beginning was brush and go! But now I love it! And I wouldn't change it because of what anyone else thinks.

Friday, March 16, 2012

You Don't Complete Me

You love me, you complete me
You hold my heart in your hands
And it's okay 'cause I trust that
You'll be the best man that you can...

For those of you who are not familiar with those words, they are part of the lyrics to a Keshia Cole song called "You Complete Me". I Looooove that song. It's a pretty song. Hell, I like most of her songs. What can I say? I'ma fan.

I'm using it in this blog because it goes perfectly with a topic that keeps slapping me in the face. Several times this week I've heard people talking about their significant other completing them...or whether or not that's what should happen when you get into a relationship.

My personal opinion on this is that you should already be complete before you get into a relationship. Your significant other should be an added bonus to you and vice versa. Trust me...I know from personal experience.

Some people, mainly women think that once they find the right man he will complete them. This isn't something that I ever believed, but I was able to see how entering into a relationship without being in a good place could ruin a good thing.

So take it from me, if you're single and you're going thru a lot of stuff. Things that make you feel down. Or things that make you feel like you don't have a lot to offer at the moment, then just be friends and get yourself together first. Now I'm not talking about being rich or having your dream job or a big house on the hill first. I'm talking about being in a good place emotionally because Johnny Smith aint gonna "complete you.

Now back to the song....

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Only in Marion

Only in Marion would this be on the shelf at the grocery front of the cans that still have labels. And how do they know what's in the can? They actually expect somebody to pay for that? It's been sitting in that same spot for the last 3 months....smdh! Only in Marion.

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Saturday, March 10, 2012

What's in a Name?

A few weeks ago, my little cousin had a baby and I went to go visit them in the hospital.

...wait...lemme back up a minute. I have two children....two beautiful daughters. Their father and I are not married. However, we are together. And they have his last name. This isn't something that I considered to be a big deal. I think that I have always known what I'd do as far as last names are considered if I had children out of wedlock.

While I was visiting my cousin, my aunt gave me something to think about. I haven't changed my stance on it, but I did begin to wonder how other people feel about it.

My aunt asked her daughter (my little cousin) what is the baby's last name. And to my aunt's surprise, she told her that the baby has her dad's last name. She then looked to me and asked if my kids have their dad's last name too (thinking that I'd say no). When I gave the opposite reply, she quickly began telling us that you should only do that if the father is your husband.

Of course I don't agree with that. I understand that back in the day when our parent's generation was coming up they used their own last name. I believe this was because there was a stigma and embarrassment associated with a woman or girl who had children out of wedlock. Nowadays, it's glorified.

Neither one of these things influences my opinion. I have always felt that if there is a relationship, that's it's okay for the kids to have the father's last name. Hell you two may get married to each other one day. But if he's an a-hole and there's a snowball's chance in hell of him being a good father or of you two being together, then of course use the mother's name.

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Monday, March 5, 2012

Writer's Block???

I used to write all of the time....before I even knew what a blog was. Mainly poetry. Had a lot of ideas floating around in my head. I need to find the notebooks and flash drives that contain those writings so that I can share. I should also start back writing in my journal. That always gets the ideas flowing. Speaking of which, I just read thru that thing the other day. I've been writing in it off and on for about 2 years or so. And at the moment I don't know where it is....AGAIN! I'll look for it later. I'm always losing that thing...probably b/c I've moved around a lot in the last few years. However, I digress...a little while ago I was trying to get my baby girl to go back to sleep when an idea for a poem/song popped into my head. I'll share it with you guys in a few. It could be a chorus to a song I guess...or a refrain for a poem...or just the beginning of either one. Idk. We'll see. Don't judge...Oh and by the way, it's not about me or anybody really. The inspiration did come from my boo tho.

You see, he and I have been together off and on for 5 or 6 years. We also have 2 children together (both of our only children). Basically, I thought to myself...hmmmm I wonder how I'd feel if things didn't work out. Here's a possibility...I hope you enjoy

I call this "Someone Else"
I coulda been huggin, touchin, lovin....somebody else.
I coulda been missin, kissin, with...somebody else.

I know that's not much at all....especially now that it's typed words on a screen and not in my head. I'll try to add on to that later. I think I'm gonna find an old poem and share it with you guys. Thanks for reading....

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Back to the 'Ville Again

Happy! Happy! Happy! I'm soooooo happy that we've finally moved back to Huntsville. I have lived here all of my adult life so it's my home now. I am FROM Marion, but Huntsville has been my home for a while now. My daughters and I moved here a week ago.

"the 'Ville" or "Huntsvegas" as we sometimes call it isn't all that, but almost anything is better than Marion. Now don't get me wrong, I love my hometown and all of my fam that lives there, but that town is like a modern-day Mayberry. Yes.....I am talking about the town on The Andy Griffith Show. I can just see the courthouse in my mind's eye right now with those parking spaces going around the building in a circle.

I miss my mom and my baby brother, but make no mistake about it I love living in Huntsville. Now all I have to do is finish unpacking our stuff and get the rest from my mom's house later this week. I hope I get a job soon. I think it's time to really start back applying for engineering jobs.

Anyway...enough randomness for now.